Abba.. How? How do those of us who know you, those who hear you calling us, how do we get and stay quiet when the voices of the world, when the cries of those who surround us crowd out all else?  This has been my challenge this week, o’God. This week when the media screams out inflammatory reports of pain, and injustice, and war, and the ongoing and forever present man against man, woman against woman, humanity against humanity tirade.  The voices, o’God. How do I tune them out? Do you even want me to tune them out?  While I desire to be still and listen, maybe it is your desire that I remain open to hearing the voices. There then is the challenge… to remain open to the voices.. the voices that align with my own spirit and heart, and the voices that rankle, that rattle, that force me to clench my jaws tight so that I will not speak words that I can’t take back, words that would pierce the hearts of my sister, my brother.  So that I will not lash out.  Truth is that you never tune out the voices. You hear us. You watch us.  I imagine that it hurts you.  It hurts you to watch your children hate on each other with words and actions.  You, who loved us so much, who loves us so much…. who has given us the prime example and definition of love, through the life and death of your Son.  For you so loved the world that you gave us the embodiment of love… can we remember to walk in, practice being in that place of love?  Help us…

…at least in the Christian tradition, is personal, but never private. Jesus Christ, who personally delivered the good news, asked those who follow him to spread that good news, that the kingdom is God is here, that we are loved, we are forgiven, our relationship with our Creator is restored. Spreading the good news was an instruction for all of Jesus’ followers. Some followers are compelled to respond to Jesus’ instruction through the established offices of the church. But what happens when that path is blocked, or cut off? It may be as simple as shifting one’s focus. But when one’s focus has been on responding to God’s call, and the chosen path is blocked, shifting one’s focus is life altering.

So what does one, who heard God call her name, do when the questions have been asked and answered, but the responses given did not pass the test of the decision makers? What does one do when “the process” results in the final answer being “No”? The answers, the comfort, offered by friends and loved ones …”choose a different path”, “choose a different church”, serve in this way or that, “grow where you are planted.” All responses that I might have given to others in this same scenario, in my efforts to sooth and comfort. If only it was that simple.

Responding to God’s call has never been about choice. At least not for me. It has always been about moving in the flow of a Holy Spirit who leads, guides, nudges, and occasionally bops me on the head. As the Spirit guided, doors opened, others closed. Opportunities to serve God’s kingdom abounded, sometimes they dried up. Even when things were difficult, confusing, or challenging, there was never a sense of being off track. Sometimes the road was winding. Sometimes there was a fork in the road. Always there was that small voice asking … “Do you trust me?” Always, my answer was yes. My answer is yes. Even now, especially now, when the voice says “be still, find the quiet.”

Being still meant stop. Easy. Sort of. Not really. Find the quiet, should have been easy. Wasn’t. Isn’t. Finding the quiet is difficult, partly because I’ve got popcorn popping in my brain. My natural tendency is to pray-journal my way out of the chaos inside my head. But that’s a private thing. And all of the things that are popping in my brain are matters of faith. Which is personal, but never private. So here then is the new thing for me. Pray-Journaling out loud. Kinda risky. Kinda naked feeling. Saying “Yes” anyway. Yes Lord. Yes. Jdw 3/20/12